The Day the Kittens Shut Down American Everyman

by Scott Creighton

Yep. I have beat back the trolls, depression, blacklisting and poverty. Suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and held fast to my core beliefs and plodded along, day in, day out bringing as much insight as this old brain is capable of toting to you, for your consideration. For the good of mankind. For the good of my own sanity.. or what’s left of both.

Flame wars. Tin foil shortages. Google censorship. “Fake news” lists. Facebook censorship. Accusations of antisemitism. Twitter censorship. Accusations of being a Mossad agent. Threats. Squeals. Headaches and heartaches from flinging my heart against the wall with regularity and vigor.

Against all of that and more I took up arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing, ended them.Or at least, outlasted them.

And nothing has shut me down, not even for a day…

until… this.

Behold, that which did the impossible and shut down American Everyman today…

They could be cognitive infiltrators. I’m not sure yet. But I think they are…


Their stray Siamese mother was prego a couple months ago. Then she wasn’t and I was worried they had all perished until this morning when she showed up for her breakfast with these two in tow. Later I discovered why she brought them here. She left them for me. She’s prego again. Calling for the trap tomorrow.

Anyway, you know me. I couldn’t leave em out there. Two hawks live in the tree across the street.

So, I took the morning to capture them and package them up and took them to the Humane Society of Tampa to surrender them for adoption (no kill shelter) but, alas, Irma isn’t done screwing with me yet and there was no room in the inn.

So, I agreed to foster these two girls for a couple days, maybe a week, and my neighbor took pity on me and let he have this wonderful kennel for as long as it takes.

And here I am.

Dawn bath next.

Don’t have names for them yet.

Church likes em. They don’t think too much of him though.

All my cats seem unimpressed by them. Cricket wants to eat them so I have to keep them apart. Cannibal. It would be the female. It’s always the female that resorts to cannibalism first, isn’t it?

Anyway… thought you should know why I haven’t posted anything today. I did an interview with Tom Kielly and Joe C. last night. Will post a link to the archive as soon as I can.

Isn’t it funny how all those things conspired against this site and in the end the one thing that actually shut us down for a day… aside from the damn hurricane… was a couple homeless kittens?

They might be agent provocateurs. Only time will tell. But right now, they are adapting well to their environment and I’m taking a much needed break from cleaning runny kitten poop off of everything. They’re coping with this transition better than I am right now, that’s for sure. I’m too old for this shit.

Back at it tomorrow… unless this is just the first wave of refugee kittens being sent my way. Oh God. Weaponized undocumented cuteness. We’re doomed.

Kittens aren’t Muslim… are they?

I gotta get out more often.

14 Responses

  1. LOL
    And they look a little like their daddy… a male homeless stray that Scott feeds. He is a beautiful cat with strong markings of black across his legs and back …. has soft tan cheeks and chest…. the rascal. Scott needs to ask him for child support.
    These two little females are so sweet. Probably had brothers but the stray male cats will kill male kittens.
    when the Siamese gets neutered… they will bring her back…. then she can just run around and enjoy life. She is a pure brown point Siamese…. maybe she was abandoned during the hurricane?
    Scott has been gently taking care of them all day.
    I have a remarkable son!

    • Remarkable for sure, Jan. I’ve always thought the same.

      Got to say I’ve got way behind on things A. E. with this project to try and save our basement wall, but it’s been a first thing first decision.

      Still lots to do, but I think it’ll work out.

      Hi to Scott.


  2. So happy for you that it wasn’t one of those other issues that closed you down for the day. All for a good cause. I’m not betting on their religion… Love cats. 🐱🐱

  3. They ARE Kittens and they rule.!!!

  4. They look nicely plump. I would take one but I have three dogs and 15 small birds-5 canaries, 3 finches and 7 miniature diamond doves.

  5. If you already have many pets in your hands, after the Humane Society returns to business as usual, it might be better to leave the responsibility to a willing adapter.

    • I’m just fostering these little girls. They said they will probably have room in a week.. maybe two. They got to get to the size where they can be spayed and when they are, they’ll take em in and find good, loving homes for them. If I can find someone before then, I will. But, right now they are just being acclimated to living inside a home. they are feral after all. but, they are precious little things. just gave em some Fancy Feast kitten food for the first time. the little one tried to take the can from me. had it in her little paws and was pulling it out of my hand while she stuck her face in the kitten turkey blend. guess she likes it. I literally weight 270 times what she does and she didn’t care. Gimme dat! they are going to be just fine. I tell you, hats off to folks who do this all the time, fostering kittens and cats like this for adaption. lot of work. lot of love it takes. gotta respect that. anyway, i’m tired. have a good night all.

      • This is good. It brings you back to center. It’s why you do what you do.
        However, I might be inclined to have those kittens scanned for microphones and other military gear. So innocent looking. You can never be too careful, laddie.

  6. Kitten’s are ebil muzlims…don’t ya know?! Muhammad had ’em. Oh wait…according to spamella gelller, Muhammad was a bloodthirsty vile thing ever walked on earth!

    Had to resort to wiki, but oh well…
    “It is told that Muhammad awoke one day to the sounds of the Adhan, the Muslim daily call to prayer. Preparing to attend, he began to dress himself; however, he soon discovered his cat Muezza sleeping on the sleeve of his prayer robe. Rather than wake her, he used a pair of scissors to cut the sleeve off, leaving the cat undisturbed. On perhaps a separate occasion, upon returning from the mosque, Muhammad received a bow from Muezza. He then smiled and gently stroked his beloved cat three times.”

    • he stroked the cat three times? and if you read that twice it’s 3 and 3 or “33”!! and then, if you read it twice, then once more and multiply that by 2 you get “333 x 2 = 666”!!! Don’t you see! it’s sooo obvious! someone call Alex Jones! Oh WAIT!!! how many planes were used on 9/11! THREE!!! he was giving them the order to do 9/11 way back then! Oh dear God (weep)… if you take the name “Muezza” and re-arrange the letters a bit and add a couple… it becomes “Satan”!!! It’s so clear… why can’t the people see….

      uh, what were we talking about again? I’ll tell you what, these things need a lot of attention. these kitten things. needy little furballs, aren’t they? just cuz they’re babies and refugees and all.

  7. Great post, Scott! Thanks.

  8. They are beautiful, good for you! I think heaven sent them to you for a moment of zen:)

  9. The French hate gender ambiguity, so you have been chosen to be infiltrated by agentes provocatrices. 😉 I am no good at judging age by a photograph, but up to 12 weeks the kittens should socialize with anyone or anything they meet. After that, it is often kinder to just spay/neuter and release. Dogs are pack animals, so if you feed them they will bond, no matter what age. Cats not so much.Sounds like you’ve got your hands full, but I take my hat off to you. And I feel sorry for the mother, she must have been traumatized to abandon them – pregnant again or not. You certainly have a houseful – take care of yourself.

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