Better Than What? Democrats Offer “Better Deal” Nothing Burger Plan Topped with Platitudes and Weak Sauce

by Scott Creighton

alternate title: How Chuck Schumer Just Made Me Vomit on my Keyboard

Chapter 1: Pre-Ramble

During the election cycle of 2016, Chuck Schumer went on CSPAN and said they didn’t care as a party about blue collar Democrats or the struggles they faced and in fact, his plan was to ignore them in hopes they would gain two Republican-lite centrist neoliberal voters for every blue collar Democrat who felt abandoned by the unDemocratic Party.

How did that work out?

The truth is, the centrist unDemocratic Party (undemocratic because they not only STOLE the party nomination from the Bernie Sanders voters but then they claimed in a court of law that they don’t even have to honor the pretense of pretending to follow a democratic process to determine who the party nominee is and that is too say NOTHING about their “Superdelegate” system which is DESIGNED to suppress populist movements from progressive liberals in this country… ergo… UNDEMOCRATIC to the core) has been bought and paid for since the mid to late 70s and with the exception of Jimmy Carter and a few Democrats who made it past the road blocks with their integrity still in tact (Kucinich and McKinney to name a few (but look where they are now)) the vast core of the unDemocratic Party are nothing more than right-of-Reagan republicans playing dress-up WWE style.

In every country where neoliberal economic ideology (the economic ideology of fascism) is imposed on the people, either slammed on them like a brick all at once (Greece, Chile) or through incrementalism (like here in the states and the EU), the natural reaction is a rising tide of populism, nationalism and protectionism. People seek to redress their many grievances which are the CORE PRINCIPLES of neoliberal economic ideology. It is natural law. Newton’s third law: for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. And the fascists who plan such things, the technocrats who serve the monied interests of the country, understand such things and so they put in place a corrupt unDemocratic Party to make sure they led the desperate sheep to the poisoned well rather than the promised land when they had finally had ENOUGH and were ready for “CHANGE”

That’s how we got Clinton, that’s how we got Obama and that is how we got so many Blue Dog/New Dems in congress and state houses across the country.

Neoliberal liars each and every one.

Chuck Schumer is one of those. Corrupt to the core and in service to the masters of the universe as a dog catcher, someone who helps keep the rabble off the streets and locked away in a kennel someplace when they act-up… kinda like those guys who would run down missing/runaway slaves back in the day.

This past election cycle has left the unDemocratic Party exposed. Not only did they run the most corrupt and disliked candidate in the history of the party, but they did so AFTER they rigged the primary to make damn sure the progressive candidate LOST in spite of the fact that all the polling showed that candidate was the ONLY candidate who stood a chance against Trump and his populist message of “CHANGE”

And they did that because they had help on the inside, President Obama and the intelligence agencies from the CIA to GCHQ who were actively spying on the Trump campaign in the hopes they could use the information to help Hillary beat him and assume the office like her coronation was per-destined. Because it was.

They also had the DHS hacking into voter databases removing large numbers of republican voters from the voter rolls.

They also had the whole of the complicit media on their side, running down Donald and building up Hillary like their lives and their paychecks depended on it. Because they did.

In reality (and reality is what I deal with over here) the unDemocratic Party had no reason whatsoever to think they were going to lose to Trump in spite of the fact that they knew DAMN WELL the populist movement at the core of the Sanders campaign had actually beaten their candidate already and Trump’s was gaining momentum with every leak that came out proven just how corrupt and dishonest the unDemocratic Party’s candidate really was.

In short, the bet the farm on their control mechanisms beating democracy… and they lost.

Since the election you can understand why the unDemocratic Party has been working overtime to make sure the blowback doesn’t unseat their right-of-Reagan republicans they have seated at the head of their dirty, broken table. They kept neoliberal Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer in leadership positions in the House and Senate; they installed neoliberal Tom Perez to head the DNC making sure even a slightly progressive candidate didn’t win that nomination process; and they killed off single payer in California just as quickly as they could after installing an insurance industry lobbyist as the head of the state party.

They’ve also been saying for MONTHS that the party is NOT GOING TO SHIFT TO THE LEFT in the wake of the bloodbath that has been the last 3 election cycles in America. They have been absolutely resolute in that decision… up until yesterday.

Yesterday Chuch Schumer penned a little screed for the New York Times that got a lot of people talking and well it should.

Chucky boy has decided to adopt the language of the real left as best he can in an effort to pump up their sagging poll numbers which are lower than Trump’s and even congress’ at this point.

Slime mold is more popular in this country than the unDemocratic Party. I’m not kidding. Slime mold and venereal disease. People would rather have VD than the Democrats we have in office.

You know why?

Because they can get rid of VD.

So Chucky finally listened to their overpaid analysts and spin doctors and acquiesced to the obvious: they haven’t yet succeeded in turning America’s progressive liberals into reactionary republicans just yet. More work in that area is needed I guess (so they should brush up on the Lewis Powell Memo they seem to use as the unDemocratic Party’s mission statement). So we got what we got yesterday was a pathetic neoliberal’s attempt to placate the real left in this country with blathering word-salad and milk-toast proposals they like to call a “Better Deal”

It was kind of like a mea culpa if you want to know the truth. They finally admitted, yes, the Democratic Party hasn’t given a crap about the plight of the working person in America for quite sometime and… GUESS WHAT?!? As it turns out, that kinda thing is deadly to a campaign in a DEMOCRACY.

Who would have figured that?

Certainly not a bunch of sellouts who knew for a fact the game was rigged from top to bottom and who kept telling themselves they were the smartest people in the room so it didn’t matter.

So Chuckie had his coming to Jesus moment and tried his best to make the real left of America think for a minute or two that he had changed his ways and was now ready to accept the ways of the OLD DEMOCRATIC PARTY… you know the one, the one that passed the New Deal and the Fair Deal and helped create the first Middle Class the world has ever seen and created Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, the EPA, worker’s rights protections, child labor laws, civil rights protections… you know, all that liberal progressive kind of shit the unDemocratic Party has been working to undo over the past 40+ years or so.

Only problem is… the plan’s name pathetic reference to REAL progressive programs of the past aside… Chuck doesn’t mean it and his proposals are tepid, cowardly and legalese doublespeak AT BEST.

Chapter 2: You Want Some Weak Sauce with Your Platitude-topped Nothing Burger?

When you see fake Dems on social media promoting this as some kind of concession from the unDemocractic Party just remember the millions upon millions of dollars the Clinton campaign spent on flooding social media with paid trolls looking to promote whatever BS campaign agenda she and Podesta could come up with.

When Cenk Uygur of the sheep-herding Young Turks program come out saying this is “big news” for all the progressive Bernie Bros who swore an oath to DemExit on the way out the door, remember that lying piece of crap has been carrying the water for the corporate Dems since his days with MSNBC when he promoted one lie after another in support of Hillary’s neoliberal regime change agenda in Libya.

He’s scum. Always will be. Always was.

Here’s Chuckie’s New York Times Op-Ed in which he lays out a “Better Deal” for the unDemocratic Party. I’m going to share with you a few quotes and then I am going to translate from Fake-Left Neoliberal Double Speak into plain English, the language of the Real Left.

Here come the platitudes:

“Americans are clamoring for bold changes to our politics and our economy. They feel, rightfully, that both systems are rigged against them, and they made that clear in last year’s election. American families deserve a better deal so that this country works for everyone again, not just the elites and special interests. Today, Democrats will start presenting that better deal to the American people.” Chucky “PLEASE BELIEVE ME BEFORE I’M REPLACED” Snowjob

translation: We can’t count on people believing the complicit media anymore when they scream “conspiracy theorist” at anyone who says the economic and political systems in this country are rigged against them so we better start off by admitting this one simple yet OBVIOUS fact. And yes, in the past the unDemocratic Party spit in the faces of all those “American families” (why just families?) who were desperate for help and a government that put their needs before those of the masters of the universe. But TODAY that is all going to CHANGE! Now we CARE. Now we “FEEL YOUR PAIN”

“And for far too long, government has gone along, tilting the economic playing field in favor of the wealthy and powerful while putting new burdens on the backs of hard-working Americans.Chucky “PLEASE BELIEVE ME BEFORE I’M REPLACED” Snowjob

translation: I know because I grew up in America and I’ve been lining my own pockets in this corrupt systems for DECADES. I’M FUCKING RICH BITCH!!!

“Democrats have too often hesitated from taking on those misguided policies directly and unflinchingly — so much so that many Americans don’t know what we stand for. Not after today. Democrats will show the country that we’re the party on the side of working people — and that we stand for three simple things.Chucky “PLEASE BELIEVE ME BEFORE I’M REPLACED” Snowjob

translation: And by “hesitated” he means they have moved the agenda further along than most of the republicans due to “left cover” i.e. that magic that allowed Bill Clinton and Barack Obama to push for and pass more reactionary New Deal killing policies than Bush or Reagan could have ever DREAMED of passing. Here are the three ingredients of our Nothing Burger:

“We’ve already proposed creating jobs with a $1 trillion infrastructure plan; increasing workers’ incomes by lifting the minimum wage to $15; and lowering household costs by providing paid family and sick leave.” Chucky “PLEASE BELIEVE ME BEFORE I’M REPLACED” Snowjob

translation: The trillion dollar infrastructure plan is a slightly modified version of Goldman Sachs’ Trump infrastructure plan which means they give a trillion dollars in tax breaks to Big Business and relax regulations so they can privatize more government agencies on a federal and state level. The $15 minimum wage “plan” is a “plan” to move TOWARD a living wage by giving the plebes a little now in terms of raising the minimum wage by a buck or two and “trying” to get to $15 bucks by 2030 or something, when it will be a slave wage after inflation. And of course, paid family sick leave simply wont happen. Ever.

Now top it all off with the weak sauce:

“We’re going to fight for rules to stop prescription drug price gouging and demand that drug companies justify price increases to the public. And we’re going to push for empowering Medicare to negotiate lower drug prices for older Americans.” Chucky “PLEASE BELIEVE ME BEFORE I’M REPLACED” Snowjob

translation: And by “fight for” and “push for” we mean… “oh, well you please do this?” “no?” ” Well, we tried. Try again next year”

“We are going to fight to allow regulators to break up big companies if they’re hurting consumers and to make it harder for companies to merge if it reduces competition.” Chucky “PLEASE BELIEVE ME BEFORE I’M REPLACED” Snowjob

translation: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha (gasp) Don’t mean ANY of that shit…

“Right now millions of unemployed or underemployed people, particularly those without a college degree, could be brought back into the labor force or retrained to secure full-time, higher-paying work. We propose giving employers, particularly small businesses, a large tax credit to train workers for unfilled jobs. This will have particular resonance in smaller cities and rural areas, which have experienced an exodus of young people who aren’t trained for the jobs in those areas.” Chucky “PLEASE BELIEVE ME BEFORE I’M REPLACED” Snowjob

translation: Giving Big Business HUGE tax breaks to bring in unemployed people AS INTERNS AND APPRENTICES WHO AREN’T PAID JACK SHIT so Big Business can make MORE MONEY and get folks off the unemployment rolls and make them start paying Big Insurance for ObamaCare.

“We are in the minority in both houses of Congress; we cannot promise anyone that this Congress will begin passing our priorities tomorrow. But we have to start raising our voices to present our vision for the country’s future. We will seek the support of any Republicans willing to work with us, but more important, we must start rallying the American people to support our ideas.” Chucky “PLEASE BELIEVE ME BEFORE I’M REPLACED” Snowjob

translation: Don’t expect any of this too happen, at least not the stuff that even REMOTELY sounds progressive. We will “compromise” like Obama did to undermine real progressive initiatives while implementing more neoliberal austerity measures. MOST IMPORTANTLY… we need to continue to work to make REAL PROGRESSIVES THINK THE WAY THE MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE THINK just like the Lewis Powell Memo of 1971 instructed us to do.

Our better deal is not about expanding the government, or moving our party in one direction or another along the political spectrum.” Chucky “PLEASE BELIEVE ME BEFORE I’M REPLACED” Snowjob


Chapter 3: Smells Like Sadness and Subterfuge

As you can see, when you learn the language the corrupt neoliberal centrists and Lewis Powell Memo think-tanks employ, it’s easy to understand what they mean.

Trouble is for this clown: they’ve been speaking in this language for decades and as we all know… THE BEST WAY TO LEARN A LANGUAGE IS TO BE IMMERSED IN IT.

The American people (in spite of the MSM/Young Turks lies that are definitely already being spun about this Better Deal) can smell the sadness and subterfuge all over this desperation move like Axe body spray on a middle-aged loser at a rave.

You can see it Chuck’s eyes like hunger and shame drapes the former carpenter standing on the median with his sign at rush hour.

Not to undercut my own value, but it doesn’t take a skilled translator or a brave leftist to call bullshit on this. Pathetic, enraging bullshit no less.

Back in the day of the New Deal and the Fair Deal, the people were angry like they are today. They needed, wanted real change and what was offered was real change. The social safety net was born, the first Middle Class in the history of mankind emerged from it and people stopped being commodified, if only a bit, as their lives improved slightly. Kids went to college. Homes were bought and paid off. Employers couldn’t ass-rape employees on a daily basis while laughing about it all the way to the titty bar.

The workers could retire without worrying about being that old guy in Greece who shot himself in the head because he was tired of being ashamed he had to eat out of trash cans after a lifetime of hard work.

Banks couldn’t work as hard as they could to sell you and your pension fund garbage they would then pull the rug out from under and profit on the backside by betting against their own customers… and then get a Bailout from the progressive agent of CHANGE as a reward.

You see, the difference is… back then the Democratic figured out the way to achieve a pact with the voters… WAS TO ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING TO FUCKING HELP THEM.

That’s what Chucky “PLEASE BELIEVE ME BEFORE I’M REPLACED” Snowjob and his Lewis Powell Memo think-tank spin doctors don’t seem to understand.

“Here’s your platitude-topped nothing burger with the weak sauce on the side” is what they are saying. And they are BEGGING US to “BELIEVE” once again.

This PR campaign “The Better Deal” is better than what? I ask.

  • Better than the “Go fuck yourself! We got ours, you get yours” DEAL?
  • Better than the “Take These Scraps and Be Thankful” DEAL?
  • Better than the “Eat shit poor people. Should have stayed in school!” DEAL?
  • Better than the “Let’s make a Deal” DEAL?

Yeah, I guess it’s better than those. Not quite as honest, but better.

Here’s what I want you to do when you run across one of the millions of poor people who could only find a job as an influence peddler on social media or a Young Turks neoliberal sell-out pushing this crap as if it’s some kind of new direction for the unDemocractic Party: I want you to vomit on your keyboard and take a selfie with it and post it on that social media or YT thread. Can you do that?

Alright, you don’t want to go that far? Fine. Just use mine.

Image result for puke on my keyboard

disclaimer: not my pic. I can’t afford an Apple… or shopping at Lowes for that matter.

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7 Responses

  1. great article!

  2. And me Dems still uphold Tommy as “a great labor rights supporter”. Yeah, right.
    It’s gonna take constant, unrelenting pressure to achieve political change; elections don’t look like a viable channel anymore.

  3. “The American people (in spite of the MSM/Young Turks lies that are definitely already being spun about this Better Deal) can smell the sadness and subterfuge all over this desperation move like Axe body spray on a middle-aged loser at a rave.”

    This…this sentence really brought tears to my eyes. I mean, yes I agree with the politics and sentiments of the article, but this sentence in particular made me feel like the time I tasted the best roast chicken in my life, which was like 5 years ago during my sojourn in Asia.

    • Sounds very personal so I don’t wish to pry, but the roast chicken in Asia is so specific, I kinda have to ask (on behalf of the readers you know)…?

      • It’s not personal, I mean of course it’s an opinion so in that way it’s personal. It’s actually kind of tragic…the chicken joint closed down about a week before I left. The reason I was so specific is that I haven’t had better roast chicken since then. Now I have specific tastes, and I LOVE chicken skin. If you don’t like chicken skin, then this will go right over you. It did not use batter (like typical American fried chicken, or Korean fried chicken), it was not fried. It really was roasted in the oven, but had delicately crispy skin. Seasoned just right, with a hint of sweetness. No bbq sauce necessary. Though you could mix it up with some citrus soy dipping sauce if you wanted. The dark meat was cooked to perfection, though I would say the white meat came out sort of dry. No problem, I always preferred dark meat chicken on its own anyway. After it closed down, I could never kind another chicken like it. It’s been 5 long years. No, I haven’t found better in the US. No, I haven’t found better in Europe. I’m thinking of going to Singapore next summer just to see if I can find it again (albeit at a different restaurant). This is not nostalgia, where I long for something that was better in my head than in reality. This was the real deal. The real unicorn, so to speak. Don’t get me wrong, I love American and Korean fried chicken. But if you wanted healthy alternatives that did not use white flour to achieve crispiness, then this chicken had it all. Actually, I thought it was better than fried chicken with batter (which is heresy to those who swear by American and Korean fried chicken superiority). This is also different from Cantonese crispy fried chicken, which is also awesome and doesn’t use batter, but is unfortunately fried.

        So why did I compare that sentence to the best roast chicken I ever had? Well it was pretty much close to perfect–the comparison you made about axe body spray, desperation, and DNC idiocy was “just right”. Just like that damn chicken I still moon for after all these years. I come here for the politics and news, but I really appreciate fine, humorous writing and fine food (in no particular order).

        • I love crispy roasted chicken skin. Crunchy, tangy, sweet with the natural flavor, not any sauce or MSG…. very good. It’s been a while since I had any like that. I guess I have to go back to my days living in New York for that memory. Shame isn’t it? I guess it gives me something to look forward to.

          I have to admit, I took a bit of pleasure writing that line. I sat and laughed about it for a good five minutes after I tapped it out on the keyboard. It was one of those lines that kind of hits you because of it’s simplicity, honesty and dark-tinted humor. And I have no idea where it came from aside from the fact that whenever I see one of those ridiculous ads for Axe body spray, I kinda think a little to myself about buying it for a minute or two… I’m not too old, too fat, too washed up to start over… am I? Then reality hits and I laugh at myself, as I often do these days.

          One of the reasons I still love writing so much. God only knows what the hell you’ll find rattling around in that brain of yours if you open the door a little every once and a while and take a peek inside.

          I’m glad somebody pointed it out. Means it’s not just me it appeals to. And that’s a hidden treasure all in itself.

          and people wonder why I still do this after all this time without breaking into “the big time”

          that’s why.

          thank you for your answer.

  4. How did trump make it through his primary election anyway? Did they just not take him serious?

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