SPACE Xplode: Privatized NASA Blows Up Again and it Couldn’t Have Happened to a Nicer Israeli-made Facebook Satellite

by Scott Creighton

Whenever I write “free markets” you have to rub your nipples and moan. It’s a law now.

Say what you will about NASA, according to the story at least, we are the only country to have set foot on the moon, we have literally tons of satellites bouncing around in the stratosphere and supposedly at least, a remote controlled car running around on the surface on a celestial object for some unknown reason doing laps around dead rats, coke cans and various footprints in the sand. That’s too say nothing of Voyager roaming the cosmos kidnapping Federation Starship crew members and getting them to hook-up under the stars because… love.

During the neoliberal hey-day of the previous Clinton administration, space travel privatization was all the rage. NASA had a big budget and of course, anything with a big budget is automatically targeted for assimilation because as we all know… release the free markets and everything is better for the guys who own the free markets.

The Commercial Space Act of 1998 wasn’t the first foray into privatizing NASA. Reagan kicked it all off in 1984 with the Commercial Space Launch Act of ’84. The 1998 legislation ushered in by Bill “Neoliberal Pedophile” Clinton was a marked improvement though as it freed up future privatization of NASA itself rather than simply opening up the skies to the glorious “free markets”


“The Congress declares that a priority goal of constructing the International Space Station is the economic development of Earth orbital space. The Congress further declares that free and competitive markets create the most efficient conditions for promoting economic development, and should therefore govern the economic development of Earth orbital space. The Congress further declares that the use of free market principles in operating, servicing, allocating the use of, and adding capabilities to the Space Station, and the resulting fullest possible engagement of commercial providers and participation of commercial users, will reduce Space Station operational costs for all partners and the Federal Government’s share of the United States burden to fund operations.” Commercial Space Act of 1998

The free markets govern Earth orbital space. So says the Washington Consensus circa 1998.

Under the Free Market Clinton administration, congress declared the whole of space belongs to Big Business and we lowly taxpayers needed to pony-up as much money as possible to make sure it was a profitable endeavor for them.

Here’s a little peak at the most recent returns on those tax-payer dollars.

Image result for space x launch explosion

That would be SPACE Xplode blowing up something else on the launch pad. They’re getting pretty good at that.

This time they blew up Facebook’s Israeli-made satellite which they were going to use to provide limited, Orwellian internet access to parts of Africa who don’t know any better (some countries like India have told Facebook to “fuck off” with their “internet of things” scam)

Hell, I’ll chip in a few bucks every year to watch SPACE Xplode blow up an Israeli-made Facebook satellite. I’ll even sign up for that on my tax returns.

As funny as that is, keep in mind, one of these days these greedy assholes will be sending US pilots into space on these things. That’s a nice thought, huh? God bless the FREE MARKETS!

Image result for rub nipples

I want to show you something.

You know how we are sick and tired of the CIA and various special interests getting Hollywood to make propaganda films on the behalf of various neoliberal agendas they are seeking?

Take a look at this:

They started writing the Commercial Space Act of 1998 way back in 1996 and 1997. The privatization of NASA wasn’t a popular idea at the time. It was passed by congress and quickly signed into law by Bill Sweaty Hands Clinton on Oct. 28, 1998 – [H.R. 1702]

On July 1, 1998, a little movie called Armageddon was released.

The story of Armageddon, a major summer blockbuster film, was about the brave owner of a private drilling company deciding he didn’t trust the “gubment” workers to drill a hole on an asteroid and save the day, so THE FREE MARKETS HAD TO GO INTO SPACE TO SAVE US ALL. And through his natural superiority defined by him being a BUSINESS OWNER, John Gault (oh wait, my fault… different propaganda story) Harry Stamper holds true to his rugged individualism and “doesn’t know how to fail” and saves the day long after the “gubment” stooges have given up and tried to undermine his pending success.

Anybody notice anything there? The timing of that? The decidedly Ayn Randian “free market” idol worship? The rugged individualism of the captain of industry saving the day?

Anybody see that in there, or is it just me?

Also note this: all this time I have been writing about how the “free marketeers” literally worship this economic ideology. It’s the ONLY thing they worship. Some folks say the baby-sacrificing Satanists are behind all of this crap going on today… some say it’s the Lizard people from the center of the earth… some say it’s “the JeeEEeeeeEEEeeeEews”

Uh, no. It isn’t.

It’s the cult of free market ideology and you need look no further than the privatization of the heavens to understand that simple fact. Rather symbolic, isn’t it?

I’m glad no one was hurt in this latest SPACE Xplode example of the superiority of private sector over the public one. Perhaps a little (dare I say it?) REGULATION might be in order for Elon over there. I mean, just for PR sake in the wake of his latest fiery product roll-out. Just for brand security, know what I’m sayin?

I’ll tell you what, if SPACE Xplode were in charge of Federation space, Tiberius would have ended up a coal miner in Iowa… or a piece of coal on a SPACE Xplode launch pad somewhere and poor Mr. Spock would have never met his bestest buddy, that’s for sure.

Ain’t it funny comparing Armageddon to Star Trek? Like there’s a lesson in there or something.

Either way, the people of Africa are better off having to wait a couple more years for their Facebook version of the internet. We can all agree on that I’m sure.

12 Responses

  1. “It’s a very sobering feeling to be up in space and realize that one’s safety factor was determined by the lowest bidder on a government contract”. (And now outsourced)
    -Astronaut Alan Shepard

  2. SpaceX Some of the time ReBuildable rocket science. Test the rocket with all the crap in it you can? If you are going to test a rocket you do it before you load it up. It ain’t rocket science, or apparently it is. If you are going to load it up, at least give a chance to fly away from SpaceX Idiots. I mean, ‘What was the plan Phil Dumbfy?’

    • I did find that odd. why load the billion dollar sat. on the thing and THEN test the rockets? I kind of wonder if this isn’t like someone who’s house burns down claiming he had a $30,000 entertainment system in it (insurance fraud)

  3. Hmmm, and Ghaddafi had just funded the African National Bank (a nationalized banking union formed with many other African nations) right before Libya was invaded and he was assassinated. The first project of the ANB was going to be the purchase of a satellite, jointly owned by the participating African nations, to bring internet services to Africa, instead of the satellite access they had to purchase from the European countries and the USA. The US and France seized the funds in the ANB, claiming it was money Ghaddafi “stole” from Libya, and the satellite project is dead.

    Funny how all that works.

  4. Would be interested in your expanded thoughts on this remark Scott.

    ““fuck off” with their “internet of things” scam”

    Internet of things is a big thing for the multi-national I work for.

    • I wrote about “the internet of things” a while ago. Yes, it’s a huge program for them. It’s the gold standard in their full spectrum dominance agenda in that everything is monitored, analyzed, categorized and monetized. Everything you do, say, write, buy, think and even feel. And I think it goes along with CISA (formerly known as CISPA) and the US Freedom Act. But also, I think it hearkens back to what Aaron Russo talked about when he said that all money would be digital so they can literally just turn someone off if they step out of line. I wrote about it in reference to CISPA in the past and when that line was first used. I will try to find it for you.

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