After Living like a Refugee for 6 Years, bin Laden Probably Shot Himself

by Scott Creighton

Osama bin Laden, the man who defeated the most extensive security grid humanity has ever known and was able to defy the laws of physics not once, but THREE TIMES on Sept. 11th 2001, a man who was able to hide from the reach of all of the world’s intelligence agencies combined for nearly 10 years, lived for 6 years in a house without so much as a toaster oven and seemed to be incapable of growing a simple tomato plant in his self sufficient “garden”… and may have shit in a bucket in the middle of the hallway.

A new video is out, presumably taken by Pakistani intelligence agents, which gives us a better look inside the “compound” that Osama bin Laden reportedly hid out in for 6 years.

Al Jazeera has quickly put together a report on this story so that they can run a little damage control on it before the rest of the world starts looking at it and saying “what the fuck?”

According to the reporters talking about the video, there were no appliances in the kitchen, no furniture in most of the rooms, and no clothes in the empty wardrobes where supposedly 20 or so people lived.

“You see a garden, you see where they grew vegetables… and then you get a bit of a tour of the inside of the house. it’s a very ramshackle house but what’s interesting is what’s not there… the kitchen is virtually stripped bare, some of the rooms we have seen are completely empty, wardrobes completely empty… the US did say they took what they described as a treasure trove of evidence outside of this house…”  al Jazeera “reporter”

What? Seal Team 6 took the stove as evidence? What did they do? Harvest his crops for snacks on the way back home? Doesn’t Halliburton still feed these guys? Can’t they buy their own stoves? Were they trying on clothing in the 40 minutes after bin Laden got popped?

What’s going on here?

Not only that, but the reporters keep talking about the garden they supposedly had on the property which made the compound “self sufficient”. Here’s a screen shot of that garden.

We can see they had a garden outside so they could look after themselves

What the hell was bin Laden trying to raise here? Tumble weeds?  How are you going to feed a compound with 20 people in it on tumble weeds?

In this shot the reporter seems to throw up in his mouth a little on the “self sufficient” line…

This guy then goes on to say “It’s a large house. It’s a comfortable home?!

WHAT!? There’s a bucket in the middle of the hallway with shit in it!

It’s a shit-bucket for God’s sake!

What kind of “comfortable home” has a fucking shit bucket in the middle of the hallway?! Everyone knows in a comfortable home you put the shit bucket in the closet! That way no one trips over it on the way to harvest the fucking tumble weeds.

A comfortable home? Where the fuck does this reporter live if he thinks this is a comfortable home? Where’s his shit bucket?

I think I figured it out.

They didn’t kill bin Laden this past Sunday.

After living like this for 6 years, bin Laden killed himself.

I would’ve and I have pathetically low standards.

15 Responses

  1. Dead Men Don’t Lie:

    “The American government is leading the country towards hell. … We say to the Americans as people and to American mothers, if they cherish their lives and if they cherish their sons, they must elect an American patriotic government that caters to their interests not the interests of the Jews.

    If the present injustice continues with the wave of national consciousness, it will inevitably move the battle to American soil, just as Ramzi Yousef and others have done. This is my message to the American people. I urge them to find a serious administration that acts in their interest and does not attack people and violate their honor and pilfer their wealth.” – bin Laden 1998 John Miller interview

    OBL came out days after the attacks on NYC and said he and his rebels had nothing to do with 9/11. He died in December 2001 of renal failure.

    Imagine if the world had listened to OBL in 1998.

    America, sweet America, your sons and daughters are dying for zionist Rothschild and his counterfeiting IMF cronies.

    WAKE THE F**K UP!!!

  2. We always kept the potty pot next to door to the tumbleweed garden, of course. It gets really heavy.

    And all our secret stuff was at the bottom of the pot, obviously. Didn’t they train these SEALs where to look for good stuff?

    They won’t be able to kill Osanta bin Laden ever again, since all the other doubles will obviously quit and find day jobs now.

  3. Home videos coming soon. Hoo-wee! this will be fun.

  4. you gotta hand it to these guys, this shit is getting funny.

    maybe that is what Hillary was looking at when she had her hand over her mouth in the situation room… bin Laden sitting on the shit bucket when Seal Team 6 broke in the door.

  5. who makes these stories up?

  6. I don’t know, but it’s about as well written as Two and a Half Men was… those guys were out of work for a while… maybe they’re working the CIA these days.

  7. This is getting really funny. I wonder if the writers from SNL are moonlighting for Homeland Security. I just read an article that claims video has been released (but you can’t see it) showing Bin Laden watching news about himself on TV and also practicing his lines for his next video release. In other words they have video of the actor they hired practicing and working on his “motivation”. Can’t wait to see this classic episode.

  8. Hard to decide which is funnier, the videos or the media clowns discussing them in sober seriousness. At this rate we can soon just laugh the criminal state away.

    Hoo hoo, ha ha ha, hee hee, ho ho ho! Sorry, I can’t begin to do this justice and will now wait patiently for willy’s review. How many stars, willy?

  9. already got screen shots of that up Shawn. CNN put it out for a while. Check the link on the new article. I should use the v-downloader to capture the video.

  10. I like the expression of the reporter talking about the garden… LOL…. and look at all that trash… do you think bin Laden would live like that?
    It looks like a deserted house and ‘they’ just used it for their story…… they = Hilliary and Obama

    wonder how many rats lived there? Bet the Seals had to defend themselves against big rats….
    what an insult for our Seals ……

  11. Haha They killed the AlQueda terrorats. That must be the resistance they spoke of initially.

  12. You guys miss the obvious. Since “al qaeda” means the baser or the toilet it only makes sense that the shit bucket would be in a prominent place like the middle of the fucking hallway.My guess is that ol’ Tim Osman a.k.a. Osama, was working on some kind of super commode weapon, in that high tech compound of his.

  13. So now we know the real story… we must hate the terrorats……. Obama has been protecting us from the horror of terrorats….. Hey Shawn, that is a great new word… 🙂

  14. Terrorats is a fun word Jan. Your post was obviously the inspiration. It all makes sense so much more sense now. Radical vermin are the real threat to our national security. They have cells in every city of every country (Just like politicians…hmmm). Now I’m actually scared. Good luck waterboarding those suckers. They do tend to bite.

  15. I wish I had been able to see this before i wrote my own analysis on the bin Laden farce. It would have been the crowning touch.

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